Just a Couple of Gay-shas

I have no words for what we just saw. Jeff had told me that a few of our friends had been to the Robot Restaurant show and they all agreed it was bananas pants and they were not wrong. I still am not even sure what I just saw. 

It was hilarious and weird and made absolutely no sense and it was also stressful because you were in a constant state of fear of being decapitated by a 'robot'. And the weirdness and stress continued once we left...

Does anyone need a stress test? After the show I needed to eat my face off so we went in search of a ramen restaurant. The one we found had a machine like this to order from. It's really cool you just press buttons for what you want and pay and you get a ticket to hand to the cook and they just bring your food...

Me in my happy place...

FOOD!!

After eating my body weight in noodles...again, we decided it was time to be homos and hit up the gay district which is in an area called Ni-chome...

It's just like the micro bar area, Golden Gai, with dozens of bars scattered over a few blocks. Most of them have themes to them...

I don't know if this bar is meant to cause you stress or relieve stress...

I guess this one is if you are feeling homesick?

Bisexual bars...

And a million other themes, they are really all over the place...

This one is for Blokes?

a bar where you can go frontin. Sup bro?

This one was called Booty bar, I'm assuming that if you have a booty you can come in? Or...

It is a little overwhelming because the bars are everywhere and you're not really sure which one you are supposed to go in to...

After some googling and general standing around like awkward confused Americans we found the Campy bar which is apparently friendly to foreigners and any and all types in the gay community...

It was a cute little bar and we grabbed a quick drink before we decided to try and bounce around and check out a few more bars....

You might think that the Arty Farty bar is for old gays...like us...but apparently it's one of the more popular gay clubs in Tokyo but it wasn't open yet. The bars don't open until later here, there really isn't much day drinking that happens in Japan. I guess they aren't deviants like us...

The next bar we hit up was the Eagle, a bar that caters to the bear community, grrr. They actually have one of these in LA and the websites we found said its a super friendly bar so we checked it out...

Everyone was super nice and we grabbed a few drinks there. The artwork was 'interesting' but again it was pretty dead because only boozehounds like us grabbed drinks at 7pm on a Friday night...

Once we left the Eagle it was getting a bit later and more of the bars were starting to open up. I lost Jeff briefly for a moment...

Oh there he is! (Shut it I'm tired and currently unfunny). Then we found this bar...

We thought about going in there till we did some research and the 'Jeff' bar may or may not be a 'massage parlor'. Hi, Jeff's a dirt ball. This bar also seemed suspect...

It is a funny area because you have so many different themes. Dirtball bars like Jeff are in the same area as bars like this one...

Eventually we came across this bar which looked pretty busy and had a decent size crowd outside so we decided to check that one out next...

I mean why not, they have Zima!

And yes that is a wang in the middle of the shrine...

They also had a happy hour special going on so we had finally found the place to be!

After a little while we started to notice that there were either hookers or ladyboys on every corner. We tried to get a picture and failed of course. It's hard to tell but this one was our favorite because she had a small palm tree pool floatie on top of her head. There were others that looked like they were on a break from the Robot Restaurant. 

And this guy behind Jeff reminded us of a Japanese JerryER, but less ER-ier

After a while (and several drinks), Jeff wanted to check out some of the other bars that he had researched... 

One thing that I forgot to mention is that a lot of the micro gay bars in this area are members only bars. I wanted to stay at the bar we were at but Jeff won....well not really because I made him drink more first...DRINK IT!!!

We walked around the corner to check out the 'Bitch' bar and the 'Nineties' bar...

I was less than excited to go to these...

So we hopped in the smallest elevator in the world. I went first and one half of one second later the door closed on me and left Jeff outside. So clearly we were off to a good start already. None of the buttons were in English but eventually the door opened and I murdered Jeff...I mean we headed up to the first bar...

Yay Nineties bar! We opened the door and they told us to get out! Yep, this one was either a members only bar or word had got round that two idiot Americans were stumbling around wreaking havoc.

So next we tried the Bitch Bar...

And sure enough we got yelled at to get out again. Whomp Whomp. And to make matters worse, we heard laughing once the door closed...

By this point we were starting to spiral so we decided to call it a night before we got kicked out of all the bars. We hopped in a cab and headed back to our hotel...

We were starving when we got home so we wandered around. Previously on one of the lost in libations adventures we had passed a kebab shop so we set off to find it, and we did! And then they kicked us out as soon as we sat down because they were closing. Hi, apparently we can't even eat in Tokyo! So we did the only thing a respectable drunk American would do...we absolutely did NOT go to Burger King and eat our faces off.

Okey dokey it's unconscious-thirty. Tomorrow is our last full day in Tokyo. We are going to take it easy and then check out a Penguin Bar tomorrow night. Hopefully the Penguins are friendly!